He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize