i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
