They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
