weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
