my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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