Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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