I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
