You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
