Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
