i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she smelled like a LAN party
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
