It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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