Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
