he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize