question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
