He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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