just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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