I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My balls are so social today.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
