I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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