Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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