This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
