mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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