Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need to calm my uterus...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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