Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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