So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
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I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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