I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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