Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

How'd it feel making her break her religion?

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(847): View more from Illinois

just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.

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(+45): View more from Denmark

Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

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(210): View more from Texas

i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.

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