come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if only i could text you this smell
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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