; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She told me I should be a condom model.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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