So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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