I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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