I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
