your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
