Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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