I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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