I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
