DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
