i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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