It's like God shit irony all over that family
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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