Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
