Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
