So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
