return my video game
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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