What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
