haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This is not my ceiling
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
