I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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