video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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