How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She bit a glass in half.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
