So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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