JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
