why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
