he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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