there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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