mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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