Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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