I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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