Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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