i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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