Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize