What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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