this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
