before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
