you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
