btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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