Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize