We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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