i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
