just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
