That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
