you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
