Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
