what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
