i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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