I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
