I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing