Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.

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  (413): I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/g19l
  Replies (21) Good night (1831) Bad night (4098)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB

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  (313): "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB http://tfl.nu/8qh8
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (663)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me

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  (214): I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me http://tfl.nu/9k7n
  Replies (57) Good night (5751) Bad night (1069)
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  (+43): View more from

  my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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  (+43): my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe http://tfl.nu/lh72
  Replies (16) Good night (8000) Bad night (942)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

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  (781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf
  Replies (43) Good night (2537) Bad night (7675)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6462) Bad night (1124)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

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  (651): I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class. http://tfl.nu/5a7w
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (872)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn

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  (989): Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn http://tfl.nu/8cqk
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (1176)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.

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  (410): I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it. http://tfl.nu/7121
  Replies (9) Good night (624) Bad night (927)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

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  (906): Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die. http://tfl.nu/zxmz
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (580)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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  (613): I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students. http://tfl.nu/r17p
  Replies (7) Good night (859) Bad night (478)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (442)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad

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  (406): Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad http://tfl.nu/ib2e
  Replies (8) Good night (1350) Bad night (715)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.

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  (817): Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go. http://tfl.nu/gkdk
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (414)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".

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  (804): Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex". http://tfl.nu/cpfg
  Replies (5) Good night (351) Bad night (229)

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