what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.