I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.