that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"