how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend