Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
