As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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