What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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