all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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